21st_sacrament | alex/henry + collars

It's a long, stalled conversation. Henry is all too conflicted on what it means, what it says, Alex is in no better shape when Henry can't even offer him the words to give him a hint. It goes nowhere until Henry finally works it out and they talk about it, one early morning at three am when neither of them can sleep.

It isn't about having a master, about being owned. Henry doesn't want to become someone's property. He doesn't want to be an object, the bile flavored edge of being Walter Sullivan's plaything when they ran into each other one on one remind him well. Palms sweating, heart beating, head aching, mouth dry, there had been no pleasure, only agony.

But being with Alex has made him feel safe, comfortable, secure. He wraps himself around him, strong arms tight, like they'll never let go. Except they do and some days Henry wants that time to linger, to be held longer, feel the reassurance of his hot breath on his skin and heart beating against his own chest.

You can't substitute a person with a collar and Henry isn't trying too. He wants the reminder, for the times when he isn't near but Henry isn't able to forget.

The soft leather collar fits low and snug against his neck. Hidden enough under the collar of his shirt, he wears it to work, when he's doing errands. Every time he swallows he feels it rub over his adam's apple, floods his cheeks with warmth at the pressure of a phantom hand keeping itself wrapped securely around his neck. He feels looked after, spoiled, the small weight keeping him grounded.

Alex bought it with his own money, picking it out himself. Seeing him wear it for the first time, he unbuttons Henry's shirt, takes in the full view of him in his collar. He takes a long look for what seems hours before he presses a kiss to his lips, thumb passing over the thin material, only to slip underneath it, leaning back with a teasing grin, pulling Henry towards him and at the sudden pressure to his throat, Henry follows, feeling wrapped up in Alex before his arms even surround him.